Grey

A grey wolf haunts me;
in my dreams he stares from clouded eyes.
A moment of stillness
and a lift.
My feet no longer touch the ground
but it feels like I am running.
There is a smoke or a fog,
it surrounds me.
There is no where to run.
I am in the arms of a man now.
Security, yet
I wiggle to be free,
but it is not safe.
The cold wind blows
and I am alone again.
Only the grey skies can see me.
There is a shadow and a deep breath.
Then silence.
The wolf stands before me.
I reach out to touch its fur,
blue blood drips from its mouth.
he stares through me, and vanishes
into the grey.
A scream in the distance breaks the quite.
I run towards it,
theres is nothing.
All is silent again,
and the cold wind blows.

Best and Worst of 2011

Today I was sitting in the library trying to steadily distract myself from doing homework on Blogspot. This boy came and sat next to me. He looked lost and fiddled away anxiously on his phone. He smelt like Axe. A lot of Axe. His complexion pale and his skin dry and decorated in very inconvient zits. He mumbled, and i figure now he was talking to me. I wasnt really paying him much attention at the time of his rant, as I had my earphones in, and I was in the procrastination station waiting for my train of thought to take off. Also, this really catchy song is on and i can't stop jammin.

I looked to my left and he waited expectantly for an answer. Shit, he has just read everything I typed.

Spirit

“Life is eternal and our time here is purposeful and meaningful, though temporary.”
- Melissa Van Rossum

To most, today would feel like any other. It would go by unaffected by the unknown. A day in constant motion with the last; unchanging. Our minds in sync purely with ourselves.

The rain was pouring down; harder than yesterday, and the day before. Frost kissed the withered grounds. The winds ruffled through the pine trees, scattering small dried pins over the mushy fields. The fence that surrounded the property was ragged, and old. Painted over with some strange grey and green paint to try and cover its unattractiveness. It didn’t. Large trees swallowed the land, and created a barrier that the fence failed to do. That’s what it was; A barrier. With a final glance at the back yard, which looked more like a setting from a horror film, I walked back to the house; bare feet covered in mud. The skies were a spectrum of greys; thoughtfully mixed whites and blacks. An obvious sign of mourning, I guess. A lonely crow cawed. Cah-aw-a.

I walked through the door into the kitchen. The house was silent - and for the most part, empty. As always. I ignored the crow that was perched at my window; the soft, gurgling caws stopped. Its black beady eyes seemed to follow me. As I glanced back towards the frosted glass, the crow’s final stare disappeared, as it spread open its ruffled torn wings, and took off into the illuminate clouds. I turned away walked towards my bedroom, the dogs stiffened and sat at attention as I passed. Apart from that, there were no other signs of acknowledgment. No panting or kissy face; just cold hard stares, and silent grumbles. I walked towards my room, routinely avoiding all the clutter that lay on the floor, not that it mattered so much. Spanish books, clean clothes, used clothes, not that you could tell the difference. My room was a melting pot. Sure, I didn’t enjoy having a messy room; I was never in any condition to care about it. I had enough going on that it simply didn’t matter to me anymore. Life was chaotic. And now, I was free.

Yesterday, things were different, I was trapped. Yesterday, no one would think twice about things that were important to me. Importancies. Yesterday, I was confined by the barriers of my body. Yesterday, I could only see, touch, taste, feel and hear. Yesterday, I had experienced soul freedom. No pun intended. Today, I know. Today, I am free.

* Spirit, both literal and metaphoric, personifies human condition in which tragedy takes place to achieve hope and freedom.
Spirit is an emotion; sprit is a soul.

A Survey:

Lately, I have had many dreams - which I usually wouldn't remember, and it has really started to make me question what controls what we see in our subconcious mind. Past lives, religious influence, preconcieved symbolism? I like to imagine that psychology and religion are intricately connected, and I would love to hear any of your insights.

This is the survey, feel free to attach any comments at the end of all your answers

1: Are you religious?
2: Do you think there is one thing, "entity" if you will call it that, which is worshipped universally?
3: What's your definition of after-life, if any?


Thank you, this is greatly appreciated, Anella


..soitookapicture

I am wind personified.

~

I am wind.
I am unpredictable.
Some like me. Some hate me. Some use me.
I carry peoples kites. Their hopes. Their dreams.
Their whispers and secrets.
I lift sails. I navigate. I advise. I opinionate.
My directions are careless or obsessive.
I'm here. I'm there. I'm far away.
I'm always around, even when you cannot feel me.
I cannot be lost or found. I am whatever I want to be.
Wherever I am, I'm supposed to be.
Whatever happens, happens.
I cannot be planned or contained.
I cannot be restrained.
I do what I like.
I have boundries.
I ruffle hair. I'm playful.
I caress faces. I comfort and soothe.
I am moody. I can make storms or calm seas.
I have control.
I am free.
I am wind.
~

i need a bandaid, and sleep.

Dr. Carl - Advice to a friend.

Dear Dr. Carl,

It seems that lately I have been rather sluggish and depressed. It's been running 3-fold. I think I have left my sanity at my keyboard. I've tried it all running and leaving, trying to occupy my time otherwise, but I always end up back at this light-bearing screen without answers. Wikihow and Google haven't given me much insight into anything, as majority are only of the possibilities. I knew it was time to turn to the professionals. My heartbeat has remained constant with the occasional flutterings that seem uncontrollable. My eyes dilate and i have had some short periods of feeling light headed. My tummy bubbles with an unreleasable laughter. My mood swings have been boiling and change constantly when i'm not depressed I am giddy; shortly after that I am enraged, which then turns into violence and frequent replacements of waterfalls where my eyes used to be. Any advice help or prescriptions would be much appreciated.

From
Meshiaah Baggs


Dearest Meshiaah,

It worries me to hear this from you, as I have witnessed the outcome of such circumstances often, and yet have not been able to declare what the ailment might be. Although prescriptions are a tad drastic all i can say is that you need to find the source of what might be causing this. I feel that the main possibilty could be confusion in your love-life; now although i could be wrong... Your symptoms clearly point towards, and are all common factors of, being in love. Your only MAJOR problem is that you feel this deep inward confusion towards it all.

Maybe you feel its too early; or that the thought that there are "so many other fish in the sea" overwhelms you; that even though you found love, how is it possible that this person is the one in comparison to people with near identical features just like them all over the world. How is it that your one in a trillion is located within a 1 hour drive?

WHAT IF your one in a trillion is away, as little as 4 hours.. or even a 15 hour plane ride? How do you know...?

This is what i have learned from others just like you, Meshiaah- and although I have no personal experiance, and the topic itself is rather touchy.. I hope you take this as you want and I hope it has given you little insight on your troubles.

Sincerly,
Dr. Carl


thestarsaresoBEAUTIFUL